Nadal just won Wimbeldon, that probably means he made a lot of money for a week’s work and here he is relaxing with his Spanish girlfriend named Xisca, something you probably can’t pronounce because it’s too foreign to you. The truth is that landing hot pussy when you’re this dude is probably not all that challenging, and instead of looking at him in envy, like you’re some kind of loser, you should take a moment to give the heroes in your life some credit for the shit they’ve accomplished.

The most recent hero in my life is my neighbor. No, he didn’t kill my wife. He did however fuck the system and hasn’t had electiricity for the last 6 months because dude’s a fucking hurtbag. Tonight, I walked in only to find an extension cord running form the hallway outlet and despite it taking him 6 months to figure out, I thought it was a good fucking strategy to save a couple of dollars. The real impressing thing in all this is that he still manages to bring home hot fuckin’ pussy when he’s wasted and despite walking into a pitch black shit hole of an apartment, they still end up fucking him. I guess they feel like they are camping or have that help a guy while he’s down mentality that every girl I’ve ever slept with also had, but the point of all this is to say that if you’re fucking broke and still getting laid, you’re someone who deserves more love than some light on his feet tennis player.

The girl is from Mallorca, like Rafael Nadal. Her name is Catalan and sounds something like this: “shees-ke”