Jan.08
2015
Nadal just won Wimbeldon, that probably means he made a lot of money for a week’s work and here he is relaxing with his Spanish girlfriend named Xisca, something you probably can’t pronounce because it’s too foreign to you. The truth is that landing hot pussy when you’re this dude is probably not all that challenging, and instead of looking at him in envy, like you’re some kind of loser, you should take a moment to give the heroes in your life some credit for the shit they’ve accomplished.

The most recent hero in my life is my neighbor. No, he didn’t kill my wife. He did however fuck the system and hasn’t had electiricity for the last 6 months because dude’s a fucking hurtbag. Tonight, I walked in only to find an extension cord running form the hallway outlet and despite it taking him 6 months to figure out, I thought it was a good fucking strategy to save a couple of dollars. The real impressing thing in all this is that he still manages to bring home hot fuckin’ pussy when he’s wasted and despite walking into a pitch black shit hole of an apartment, they still end up fucking him. I guess they feel like they are camping or have that help a guy while he’s down mentality that every girl I’ve ever slept with also had, but the point of all this is to say that if you’re fucking broke and still getting laid, you’re someone who deserves more love than some light on his feet tennis player.

The girl is from Mallorca, like Rafael Nadal. Her name is Catalan and sounds something like this: “shees-ke”
Jan.07
2015
Maria Sharapova

Maria Sharapova was a slight favorite on Friday against Simona Halep according to Sportsbookreview.com, but according to me, she’s always the favorite, I mean besides Anna Kournikova, but I don’t think Anna Kournikova actually ever played tennis, she was more get in it to get out of Russia, find a pop singer to marry and live the good life hustle….

What it comes down to is that all female tennis players are my favorite, even the manly ones, because they wear shore skirts and scream in some of the most erotic ways…

Here’s a top 5 Sharapova from Friday.

1- Here she is scratching her back with her tennis racket, because she can’t be bothered actually playing the game, that gets in the way of her down time, in what I like to think is more of the opening scene of her sex tape…called “Rough Day on the Court”….

Maria Sharapova


2- Here she is hitting the ball, because I guess she’s paid for that, in what I like to think is less of her playing her sport, and more of her opening dance moves for her stripping routine….

Maria Sharapova

3- Sweaty Tits – are the new sweaty panty….and I’m just like, if clothes are wet for any reason, sign me up.

Maria Sharapova


4- That Intensity in her face…is one that I like to think is probably what her O-Face looks like and that is terrifying…

Maria Sharapova


5- I call this pose “Anal for the first time”…I am sure the tennis officials have a different name for it…

Maria Sharapova
Jan.07
2015
Tennis is the most pornographic sport with these Eastern European girls in little skirts and panties grunting like they are fucking and I like to watch it because I am a pervert. Here’s some bitch named Jalena Jankovic taking it to the next level by throwing in some splits and using her ass to get some more coverage because she knows that her male fans will appreciate it. I never really understood why dudes freak out when strippers throw in the splits in the middle of a routine, I am guessing it’s got something to do with visualizing that flexibility in the bedroom, but I just find it obvious.

I’d be a lot happier if a stripper pushed the limits a bit and fisted herself on stage while taking a shit instead, but then again, I am a tough crowd. I blame the internet for desensitizing me.

Jalena Jankovic
Jalena Jankovic
Jalena Jankovic
Jalena Jankovic
Jalena Jankovic
Jalena Jankovic
Jalena Jankovic
Jan.07
2015
Ana Ivanovic is a tennis player….a female tennis player unlike that Williams sister who like the movie Ladybug (RIP BRANDIS)…..is clearly a genetically modified player who barely passes the hormonal level of a woman….but who daddy had the insight to make a woman with a blade in the garage when she was a kid….in order to live out his tennis dreams….

Ana Ivanovic is a tennis player….like many female tennis player…all fit…and elegant…and lovely…making you wish you were a country club WASP…..who grunts like she’s getting fucking blasted hard….and flashes her panty ass all day….when not showing off a sweaty cameltoe vagina….or rocking hard nipples like in this pic from the Australian open….

All this to say…women’s tennis is my favorite….a highly erotic experience….

Ana Ivanovic
Ana Ivanovic
Ana Ivanovic
Ana Ivanovic
Ana Ivanovic
Ana Ivanovic
Ana Ivanovic
Jan.07
2015
Serena Williams embodies absolutley nothing tennis represents for me, and not because I am a white pant wearing socialite upper middle class motherfucker who sips cocktails at the tennis club, talking about my investments, or new ventures, while my mistress plays tennis as my wife spends my money shopping…but because I have always had a tennis fetish, maybe because I was never allowed in the tennis club, or maybe because skinny, fit, white girls flashing their panties while grunting like they are being savagely fucked up the ass as part of their sport is erotic…while these Serena Williams booty is just fucking savage…I mean it’s so big and scary and would require massive penis to deal with…

The good news is I know so many white dudes, rich white dudes, who love being smothered by this kind of thing, because it’s different and got more flavor than the skinny white girls who are with them for their money…

I am on the fence about whether this is good or bad, I just know I can’t stop staring…so it is something.

Serena Williams
Serena Williams
Serena Williams
Serena Williams
Serena Williams
Serena Williams
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